DEAR ABBY: I have a 4-year-old daughter. She spends time at her grandma’s house and does arts and crafts projects there. When my MIL drops her off, she brings the project to our house.

We enjoy seeing it for a few days, and my daughter plays with it for a few days. Then it gets added to the rest of her toys. I want to give them back to my MIL, but is it polite to send them? They are genuinely cute projects, so I don’t want to throw them away, but we have too much stuff here.

This same dilemma arises with birthday and Christmas gifts. My daughter receives nice gifts, but we don’t want to keep them at our house, so we’ve asked my MIL to keep some at her house for when my daughter visits. I think she’s offended by the request.

Should we just keep the projects and gifts and eventually throw them away or donate them? Or should we be honest and ask for an alternative? I’m not sure honesty is welcomed in society anymore. Your thoughts are appreciated. — HONESTLY UNSURE

DEAR UNSURE: If Grandma wanted the toys and art projects at her house, she wouldn’t be sending them home with your daughter. I do think a “truth session” is in order. The lead-in should be something like this: “Ethel, honey, we wish you would keep some of our little angel’s toys at your place so she can enjoy them while she’s visiting you. These things are piling up at our place and we no longer have anywhere to put them. Would you please help us out?”

Then, shut your mouth and see how your MIL responds. If she isn’t helpful or receptive, toss the stuff sooner rather than later, and pray it doesn’t appreciate in value as your budding artist grows older.

DEAR ABBY: I wonder what I should do about a friend (“Corinne”) I knew through high school and who was a bridesmaid in my wedding. Seven years ago, my husband was diagnosed with tongue cancer and had to have a 16-hour surgery plus chemo and radiation. I called Corinne and told her about my husband’s cancer and surgery, which was at a hospital three hours from our home. She sounded like she cared and was concerned, but she never called or texted me after that. She just stuck her head in the sand and offered no support while I was going through this major ordeal.

Now, another girlfriend from high school wants me to attend a lunch with her and Corinne. Should I meet them? Or should I disown Corinne as a friend? It still hurts after all these years. — WOUNDED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR WOUNDED: Before “disowning” Corinne for having let you down when you needed her, go to the lunch with your mutual friend and ask her why she disappeared. She may be embarrassed, but it’s a fair question. Corrine’s absence may have been caused by a terror of cancer and its treatment, which can be so strong that some people are afraid to seek treatment for themselves after they are diagnosed. (Years ago, I lost a wonderful friend because he treated his liver cancer “homeopathically.”)

DEAR ABBY: My stepdaughter has an 11-year-old daughter I’ll call “Kristina.” Kristina is very well-behaved, but she’s being taught at home that love is measured in dollars. She is constantly hinting about gifts and candy she wants. It has gotten so bad that when I keep her, I postpone errands because she invariably finds something in every store that she needs or wants.

I don’t mind buying her things from time to time, but the items I purchase are sometimes returned to the store or sold by her mother. Although Kristina is an only child, she is not my only grandchild.

If I buy a gift for another grandchild, I have to hide it because Kristina thinks it’s hers. If she sees money on my dresser, she talks about how much cash others have given her. She helps herself to our candy dish without asking permission and sometimes muses about how many gifts dead relatives would have given to her if they were still alive.

Then there’s her birthday. After Christmas each year, she starts hinting that her birthday is coming up. Abby, she was born in JULY! For six months, almost without exception, she brings up her birthday in every conversation until she’s sure I have bought her a gift. I have tried a variety of responses, but she’s not getting the hint.

Don’t even suggest that I talk with her parents about it, because they spend money they don’t have to buy her gifts and then struggle to pay bills. They also don’t seem to appreciate what we do for them and don’t always thank us. Any other suggestions you could give me would be appreciated. — TIRED OF THE MANIPULATION

DEAR TIRED: Talk to Kristina’s parents again. This time, tell them exactly what you have told me — that her main topic of conversation is what she wants you to give her on the next gift-giving occasion, because it seems obsessive. Tell them you have gotten the impression that their daughter seems to regard you as less of a loving grandparent than a toy vending machine, and it is unsubtle and obnoxious.

Then, if they don’t pass along the message — which would allow Kristina to save face — YOU should do it. If you go along with this current scenario, her bad behavior will only continue.

DEAR ABBY: I love my doorman. I am married and older than he is. He is married, too. I’ve known him for years, and I flirt with him all the time. He flirts back and gets really red in the face.

One day, he came up to my apartment to help me with something. I purposely had on a see-through slip. I wanted to kiss him. I did catch him staring at me, but he was very polite and didn’t try anything. I’m just wondering whether I should try to kiss him next time or try to stay away from him. He really makes me crazy. — BIG CRUSH IN NEW YORK

DEAR CRUSH: You owe your doorman an apology for what you have been doing. If you care at all for this person, do not jeopardize his job by taking this further. If you do, this adventure will not have a happy ending.

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