DEAR ABBY: A longtime friend recently accused me of lying about my education, and I’m still stunned by it. I completed my undergraduate studies in the U.S., earning a BA, and later earned a master’s degree from a French university. Recently, during an exchange on Facebook, my friend asserted, quite confidently, that I was lying about my academic history. When I corrected her, she doubled down and said that because of this, she wanted to cease contact with me.

While this is upsetting given that the accusation is false – I did finish college, and I do have a graduate degree – I am less distraught by her ignorance than by the certainty with which she accused me and the implication that I’m dishonest. I’ve always been straightforward about my background, and I find it unsettling to have my integrity questioned by someone who has known me well for 30 years.

My dilemma is this: Do I owe my friend proof or an explanation beyond what I’ve already said? Or is it reasonable to refuse to defend facts that are true? It seems crazy to lose a friendship of 30 years over something I consider to be so trifling and, quite frankly, stupid. And yet, I’m not sure I even want to be friends with someone who would treat me so callously. What should I do? — WRONGLY ACCUSED IN NEW YORK DEAR WRONGLY ACCUSED: I am having trouble understanding why you would want to interact with the woman at all after this. (I know I would create some distance.) That said, you deserve to defend yourself from the unjust accusation. If you have access to the documents, photograph them with your phone and share them with her. Then ask where she got the idea that you hadn’t earned your degrees and why you would lie to her or anyone about it.

DEAR ABBY: When did it become OK to use the F-word? I’m a mother, grandmother and great-grandmother who was born in the ‘60s. When I was growing up, it wasn’t done, at least in polite circles. I never heard parents say it in front of their children, nor coaches for Little League teams and high school teams. Now I hear it all the time! I don’t say it because I believe I can get my point across without having to use it. But now it is used in normal conversation.

You would think people would have more confidence in their ability to carry on a conversation without using it. I know I do. What has become of our society? What can be said to people who feel it is a part of normal conversation? — DISGUSTED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR DISGUSTED: The English language is constantly evolving, although some might say it is devolving. The F-word used to be uttered to express pain, anger or shock or for emphasis. However, with overuse, it has lost its “power” and has come into common usage. For many folks who refrain from using the F-word, it is still grating to hear. Feeling as you do, when someone drops an F-bomb in front of you, and it makes you uncomfortable, you might say, “Please don’t use that word with me because it marks you down,” which is how you feel.

DEAR ABBY: I spent the morning at a close friend’s home. She is in her early 80s and starting to show some mental decline and memory problems. Her children are in their 30s and still live at home. Her husband is also in his 80s.

While there, I noticed how, at every opportunity, the kids or husband would make some “innocent” remark about her hearing or mental alertness. It didn’t take long for me to notice how these remarks went from harmless teasing to mean-spirited. I could see by my friend’s expression that some of their remarks had hit the mark and hurt her feelings. She either played along with it or pretended she didn’t hear it.

I made an early exit and proceeded to my next stop, where, to my dismay, the scene repeated itself with my own sister (also in her early 80s) as the target. Her daughter and husband were relentless with their teasing about her hearing, sight, word searching — whatever they could find to demean her (no, this is not new). But after the way I saw my friend being abused, I had to get out of there. I am ashamed for not speaking up at the time. Abby, what should I have done then and in the future? LOUSY FRIEND AND SISTER

DEAR ‘LOUSY’: When it happens in the future (and it will), feel free to speak up. Consider telling those “witty” individuals that their comments are not funny; they are hurtful. If they really believe what they are saying is true, their relative should be evaluated by a neurologist, an ophthalmologist or an audiologist to see what deficits can be remediated.

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