“A happy marriage is built on love, trust, and the ability to pretend you didn’t hear that last comment.”

There’s nothing like a lighthearted quip passing through the pen of an esteemed author from India* to lighten one’s mood. Especially when pondering the ups and downs of married life.

Once our “I dos” and “I wills” were offered and the wedding rings assigned their respective homes on appropriate fingers of the left hand, my 18-year-old bride and I were off to the church fellowship hall. It was here in this warm, festive space that I gained my first introduction to smiley-muscles and their lasting effects. Rising from nonstop smiling … toward photographer and camera – toward well-wishers – toward happy gift-givers as we opened one-by-one, the mountain-high collection of tenderly-wrapped presents. A full day or two passed before my face returned to its natural and “unfrozen” posture. (The ache was worth it.)

Good and Long marriages are characterized by just that – Long. Ann and I would learn that we were embarking now upon a lengthy journey marked by prolonged stretches of a whole range of things. Long celebrations – long confusions long excursions (Montana, Texas, Africa) – long conversations. It is quoted of a fellow, “Me and my wife, we have never argued; we have, however, had some rather loud discussions.”

Long days and weeks and years. Of learning. There is no one other than Alice Ann Barnes Lout whom I would have wanted to pledge her promised ‘Yes’ at that matrimonial altar long ago. I suspect I yet remain very much a novice in the role as groom to this treasured person. The Lord has honed and formed and grown us both through our years together up till now. Training wheels still in place.

*Ruskin Bond

– ©2026 Jerry Lout Jerry Lout was raised in Okmulgee County. His two memoirs, “Living with a Limp” and “Giants in the Rough,” highlight the dual encounters with Polio and his decades living and working in East Africa. jerrylout@gmail.com, 918-857-4373