With the beginning of December and upcoming celebrations, stress is an inevitable part of the season. Holidays are often portrayed as joyful and exciting, but many children experience significant stress.

Changes in normal routine, more social events, travel plans (with inevitable disruptions) and elevated expectations often make this time of year feel overwhelming. Children may disguise their struggle, but many show stress through irritability, attachment, sleep disorders, or difficulty concentrating on tasks or with conversations.

Recognizing early signs can help families intervene before stress builds to a level of disruption. Here are some suggestions offered to make the holidays much brighter for you and your children.

Holidays often lead to a change in normal routines, and children thrive better when schedules stay relatively normal. It is recommended that while you might need to change some things such as times for meals or lose sleep with some travel, try to maintain as much normality as possible with their day-to-day activities. If you read to your children at night, continue to do so. If you take walks together or trips to the store, find time to keep that in place.

Family or friends’ gatherings often provide excitement for many children, but for others, they simply add to stress levels. If a child needs to take time to go to their room or step outside to avoid an overwhelming feeling, allow them to break from the party to reset, and if they have had enough, try to keep the disruption down so they can have that quiet time in their own space.

Try to involve children in the planning of activities. The more they feel involved and part of the event, the more likely they will enjoy it. If you have regular activities planned with them annually, gauge whether they have outgrown that and try to adapt to something similar but more within their age.

Holidays can also trigger memories of loved ones lost. Children often connect with older relatives, and this time of year brings forth those thoughts of time together with people special to them. It is important to discuss those feelings of mortality with them and how it is not just them feeling that loss. Take that time to give them a hug and let them know they are not alone in how they feel.

Gifts often add to stress levels. Many children want that one special gift that is the hot item of the year, but with economic struggles, it is sometimes difficult to find that item on a budget. If it is simply not possible, be honest with them that finances just will not allow it this year. Instead, consider giving time instead of items. For example, offer a weekend family excursion to a local festival or event which they would enjoy and include something tangible which will connect them to that event, such as a stuffed animal if going to a day at the zoo.

If you do purchase presents, teach children the meaning of giving and ask them to assist with picking out gifts for family members. This will help them understand the thought that goes into presents and the need to budget if you establish a set amount to spend for items for multiple people.

If stress levels are growing, try to recognize the signs. Young children do better when they can have a release, sometimes with simple things such as drawing, playing outdoors, putting headphones on to listen to music, or spending time with their hobbies. It is always suggested for parents to maintain a healthy amount of conversation with their children and listen to them to help assess when the tension is building. Easing their stress will also help your own stress level.

I hope these tips help you navigate December and lead to a very happy 2026 for you and your children!

– The Oklahoma Institute for Child Advocacy was established in 1983 by a group of citizens seeking to create a strong advocacy network that would provide a voice for the needs of children and youth in Oklahoma, particularly those in the state’s care and those growing up amid poverty, violence, abuse and neglect, disparities, or other situations that put their lives and future at risk. Our mission statement: “Creating awareness, taking action and changing policy to improve the health, safety, and well-being of Oklahoma’s children.