DEAR ABBY: I am a stepgrandmother of a disabled granddaughter, “Laura,” who has Down syndrome. She is 38. A few years ago, she weighed more than 300 pounds at only 5 feet tall. She ended up in the hospital with blood clots and almost died. The courts gave guardianship to her dad, my son-in-law. Laura’s mother has visitation with Laura only one day a week for four hours.

When they are together, she feeds Laura so much junk food that when Laura comes home, she gets sick. Her dad has spoken to his ex-wife about this issue, but she continues to do it even though she knows the doctors have said Laura has an eating disorder. In the past few years, my daughter has worked hard to help Laura, and now Laura is down to 140 pounds. How can they get her mother on board to help Laura and stop giving her all this stuff that makes her so sick? — LOOKING ON IN OHIO

DEAR LOOKING ON: Laura’s mother appears to have mental problems, which may be why her visitations are limited. Although feeding her daughter junk food may be the way she tries to show love, preventing her from losing the weight she needs to in order to be healthy is dangerous. Your son needs to explain what’s going on to Laura’s doctors and to the judge who decided how long and how often Laura’s mother is allowed to see her. A solution might be that those visits must be supervised. Please suggest this.

DEAR ABBY: I’ve hosted a live podcast for years. It’s my creative outlet, my therapy. Recently, my wife gave me an ultimatum. I am not allowed to host the podcast anymore, or she’ll divorce me. She says it’s for “us,” not her. Her reason is mostly because I preach atheism as well as discuss many other topics.

She’s a Christian. I was a Christian when we met and married, but I am no longer. I want to respect her faith, but I feel this is too much for her to ask. My show is a piece of what I want to share and document with the world. It’s only a few hours’ commitment a week, and I don’t do much else as far as recreation or hobbies. I am employed and responsible, and I fulfill all my duties as a husband.

I’m terrified of losing either the show or my marriage. Is this a fair thing for my wife to demand? I have chosen to stop hosting the show for now, and I’m unhappy. I’d like my wife’s blessing so I can continue. Is there anything you would recommend? HOST IN EXILE

DEAR HOST: I don’t know how far away in exile you are, but if you live within the borders of the United States, there is a certain amount of freedom of speech here. Living according to your wife’s dictate leaves you frustrated and unhappy. You have the right to express yourself, and you have an audience who appreciates it. If she chooses to divorce you over this, you may find it’s a relief. Call her bluff. If you do, you may discover you are happier following your own path rather than hers.

DEAR ABBY: My son is 27. He has had some problems recently that were so serious I reached out to his father. His father and I were teenagers when we had him, so the last time we spoke was 18 years ago. Our relationship was really toxic, which is why we split when we were young. (We both had other children.) Since we’ve begun talking again, we have shared that the relationships we’re in now aren’t good. Mine is verbally and emotionally abusive. (He used to be physically abusive until two years ago.)

Abby, all my feelings for my ex have come back, and he says he feels the same. We’re different people now. We haven’t taken it any further than talking and texting. I’m so confused. I don’t know if I should end the relationship I’m in and give it another go with my ex, or leave it alone. — HOPELESS ROMANTIC IN TEXAS

DEAR HOPELESS ROMANTIC: You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by ending a relationship that’s emotionally and verbally abusive. If your ex is sincere about what he has been telling you, he may want to end his unhappy relationship as well. If you decide to move forward with what you’re considering, I strongly urge you to get to know him first. Couples counseling can help you accomplish it, considering the baggage you are both carrying from the first time around.

© 2025 Uexpress