DEAR ABBY: If I am aware that a 16-year-old is having sexual relations with another 16-year-old, should I inform the parents? — WONDERING IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEARWONDERING: The age of consent in New Hampshire is 16. Rather than tell the parents, talk to the teens to be sure they know what they need to know about the responsibilities that go along with sex to help them prevent an unwanted pregnancy or an STD.

DEAR ABBY: After my father died by suicide, my mother moved the family across the country. I was 13, and I never discussed my father’s death with anyone.

Now, 50 years later, my best friend from high school has terminated our friendship because I don’t support her politics. Her parting comment to me: “I was only nice to you because your mom told me how your dad died.” Abby, I had plenty of friends in high school. I was senior class president, and I have gone on to have a successful life.

I was always there for my friend when she had marital and other difficulties. I am struggling with processing such profound cruelty from a lifelong friend, and I would welcome your guidance. GRAPPLING IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR GRAPPLING: The statement from your “lifelong friend” was mean, cruel and unnecessary. It was intended to hurt you.

I don’t know if you realize what a strong woman you are. Although your family experienced a severe trauma that necessitated geographic relocation, you managed to thrive in your new environment. You were popular with peers and have gone on to build a successful life. Count your blessings.

The person you describe may have been a friend at one time, but she has used the current political climate as an excuse to distance herself. Step back and be glad she showed her true colors. You are well rid of her.

Gift-Giving Season Means a Refresher in Giving ‘Thanks’

DEAR ABBY: I think you once wrote that failure to thank people for gifts is the No. 1 complaint you receive. Well, I can see why!

My daughters, grandchildren, nieces and nephew not only fail to acknowledge gifts which involve thought, time and effort, but they also do not acknowledge receiving them when I send them by mail. My mother taught me to write thank-you notes, and I taught my daughters the same, but you’d never know it.

My daughters and nieces have not taught their children to acknowledge gifts, and if I don’t personally hand the gift to any of them, I don’t know if it was received. Needless to say, I think this is ungrateful and rude.

I am thinking of enclosing self-addressed, stamped envelopes with the gifts this year as a broad hint. I’m also considering not giving anything to the nieces and nephew I won’t see at Christmas and telling their parents why. That may ensure my being labeled fussy or unkind, but I’m so fed up I’m almost past caring.

Is your publication about how to write thank-you notes still available so I can include it, too? — SICK OF THE INGRATITUDE

DEAR SICK: You are right. A lot of people share your grievance on this subject. Your idea about enclosing stamped, self-addressed envelopes with your gifts isn’t a bad one, and my booklet is still available. It is titled, “How To Write Letters for All Occasions.”

Many folks avoid writing thank-you notes because they don’t know how to put their thoughts on paper. They fear they’ll say the wrong thing or think a thank-you note must be long and flowery, when short and to the point is more effective. Writing is a skill, and it needs to be practiced so it comes easily. “How To Write Letters” contains samples of thankyou letters for birthday gifts, shower gifts and wedding gifts as well as those that arrive around holiday time. It also includes letters of congratulations and ones regarding difficult subjects, such as the loss of a loved one.

The booklet can be ordered by sending your name and address, plus a check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to Dear Abby Letters Booklet, P.O. Box 446, Kings Mills, OH 45034-0446. Shipping and handling are included in the price. With the holiday season fast approaching, this is the perfect time to reply with a handwritten note or well-written email.

Because letter composition has not always been effectively taught in the schools, my booklet can serve as a helpful tutorial – a valuable tool for parents to use in teaching their children to write using proper etiquette, as well as a handy guide for anyone who puts off writing because they don’t know what to say.

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