DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married for 49 years. Of course, we’ve had our ups and downs. My husband, “Sid,” said he was joking at the store the other day. When I talk, I gesture with my hands. A woman was coming down the aisle while I was talking, and Sid warned her, “Watch out! She’s mean! She’s violent!”

At another store, he told the cashier, “Watch out! She’s dangerous! She’ll steal something! She’s a shoplifter.” When we got back in the car he said, “Man, why did you buy more cookies? You’ve eaten that whole pack already!”

When I bring this up to him, he says, “You’re just like your mother,” and I cry all the way home. In the car the next day, I told him how this hurts my feelings. His answer was, “You’ve always been too sensitive. You need to just get over it.” I don’t know how to respond to all this “poking” at me. — NO FUN IN FLORIDA

DEAR NO FUN: Your husband has a cruel streak and seems to get his kicks by embarrassing you in public. Dry those tears, and the next time it happens, smile and calmly tell the cashier your husband is off his meds and delusional, and to pay no attention to him. I don’t know why your husband is being passive-aggressive and neither will you unless you talk with a marriage and family therapist about it. Please don’t wait.

DEAR ABBY: I’m in an eight-month relationship with a man who is a sexy good dancer. (I’m also a good dancer.) My dilemma is, he attracts a lot of female attention on the dance floor, and sometimes women aggressively come up and dance next to us, vying for his attention (which we usually ignore). Most of the time, I pay them no attention, but it sometimes affects our enjoyment because I get annoyed.

He says he knows why I feel this way with some and that I should deal with it however I’d like to. He doesn’t actively pursue the advances, and I know we’re in love, but I’d like your advice on how to handle it. I’m astonished at how some women ignore boundaries when you’re obviously in a relationship. Men don’t do this to me. — BOTHERED IN THE WEST

DEAR BOTHERED: Your boyfriend is already doing his best to ignore the advances he receives. Unless you are ready to tell the hussies to “Back off, Honey, he’s mine!” follow his lead. Yes, some women are aggressive, tasteless and seemingly desperate. You can’t change them, and neither can I, but you can change the way you react to a situation you can’t control.

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