DEAR ABBY: I am in my late 20s. My mom and dad will soon have been married for 30 years. I accidentally found evidence recently that Mom is having an extramarital affair. When I confronted her, she said I should go to therapy to help deal with my overreaction to her “doing something I don’t like.” She totally ignored the fact that it’s not just a minor thing that I’m upset about, but something wrong, immoral, hurtful and disrespectful to my dad, my brother and me.

Mom and I were very close, but this has ruined our relationship. I feel like she is putting reconciliation all on me, which feels unfair. What do I do? — THROWN IN MARYLAND

DEAR THROWN: I am sure that what you discovered was a shock. However, you know nothing about the reason(s) your mother may be having an extramarital affair and whether your father knows about it. What’s going on has nothing to do with you and your brother. Please take your mother’s advice. Discuss this mess and your feelings about it with a licensed family therapist, and you may gain some insight.

DEAR ABBY: I’m a mature male who had a weight problem years ago. When I turned 50, I was diagnosed with metabolic syndrome, hypertension and diabetes. I took my doctor’s advice about diet and 150 minutes of exercise a week. Fast-forward to today, and I have lost almost half my body weight and am now in good shape.

My problem now is finding women near or around my age who have the same dedication to exercise and fitness. It is nearly impossible to find a partner who shares the same values. I have tried dating sites, and almost always get catfished. I go on dates, but if I’m not physically attracted to someone, things don’t get out of the “friend zone.”

I feel physical attraction drives a good part of a healthy relationship. I value having friends, but finding someone who can run, bike, kayak, etc., is, to me, vital to a successful relationship. Should I settle to have someone to spend time with, or keep the faith and hope I find a woman I’m attracted to? I’ve had little luck finding a compatible partner. Am I too picky, given that a lot of people don’t or won’t take care of themselves? — DISCOURAGED IN MEMPHIS

DEAR DISCOURAGED: Physical attraction is important, but what attracts us to others varies from person to person. You don’t have to be lonely. Because physical fitness is so important in your life in addition to chemistry, continue to look online. If you do, you will find there is more than one dating site geared to folks who are interested in health and fitness. I wish you luck.

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