DEAR ABBY: I have been married to “George” for 35 years. I was pregnant when I married. We had dated only five months. We came from families that believed you had to “do the right thing” and get married. I love my husband, but never as deeply as I thought I should.

I had feelings for someone else (“Dennis”) before I got married, but we were always in different relationships when we’d see each other. He was my husband’s best man at our wedding, and they were friends for many years. He moved away and we had not seen each other for 25 years. Dennis and I recently reconnected, and when we first saw each other, it was like I was hit by a truck full of emotions.

Dennis makes me feel ways I never felt before. We have long talks about how much we missed each other. We can tell each other anything. I’m the happiest I have ever been in my life, but once again, things are complicated. I still live with my husband, although I’m in the process of moving out as soon as I can. Dennis has to take care of his mother and can’t just walk off.

We want to be together. We have never done anything more than hug and share passionate kisses. George will be hurt, but should I keep putting my happiness last just to please someone else? When do I deserve to be happy? — ABOUT TO FLEE

DEAR ABOUT TO FLEE: You have a right to be happy and so does George. Have you and Dennis been discussing marriage during any of those long talks? Does George know you are planning to move out and why? How does Dennis’ mother (who is very much in the picture) feel about his romance with you? How do you plan to support yourself if your romance should not work out?

Be sure you have answers to these questions before you pack your bags, because if you don’t, you may find you slammed the door on a satisfactory marriage to a man whose only flaw was that he wasn’t Dennis.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband is dying of cancer. I got pregnant shortly before we divorced. I left him because he physically, psychologically and emotionally abused me. I never told him about his son. In fact, I lied and told him the child was someone else’s. I did it to protect our child.

Now that my ex is dying, I feel guilty. He never had any other children. Should I tell him he has a son? — FEELING GUILTY IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR FEELING GUILTY: That’s an interesting question. My first reaction is to let sleeping dogs lie. From your description of your ex-husband, he would have used the child as a pawn to further abuse you. However, you didn’t mention whether your son knows who his father is. If he does, he might want to meet him before he expires. This is something only you can decide.

DEAR ABBY: My older brother has had a tumultuous marriage to a manipulative, alcoholic, just-plain-mean woman. It has been bad over their entire 40-year marriage, including her physically assaulting him.

He called the police the last time and had them take her away. She eventually kicked him out, and he went to stay at our younger brother’s home. He later got a hotel room and was away from her for two weeks. Then he decided to save money by returning to the home but staying in their camping trailer.

She invited him in for dinner, was very nice and they got back together. Now she has given him an ultimatum, stating that my younger brother and I do not treat her like “family.” So he called us and said he has to cut ties with us.

This is so disheartening. I told him I don’t accept that — he’s my brother and was my protector when I was a kid — but he said this is how it is. I am distraught. Our mom died five years ago, and our blood family is just the three of us. I don’t want to lose my brother.

I always accepted his wife as the woman he chose to be with, regardless of her obnoxious behavior. I even used to call her weekly, only for her to always manage to say something mean-spirited toward me. I eventually decided the phone works both ways and stopped calling. We always went to every event she invited us to and have maintained a friendship with her children that my brother adopted.

I need your input on how to get through my loss, or how to remain in contact with my brother regardless. — CONDITIONAL SIS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR SIS: Your brother is a willing hostage in his abusive marriage. Because he has reunited with his abuser does not mean the cycle won’t repeat itself. In other words, in time, he may be back. In the meantime, let him know you love him and will always be there for him should the need arise.

As for how to get through this painful period, stay busy. Do not give yourself time to sit and brood. Then make a point of counting all the blessings you have in your life and realize that, for the time being, your brother is where he wants to be.

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